Of all the works of Englishmen
Deserving fame and glory
Of mighty deeds and triumphs bold
In his renowned history
The one thats sung and praised the least
Must be the lavatory
Long live the loos of England

His firm support in hour of need
A shrine for meditation
A haven from the busy world
A fond of inspiration
The glory of the plumbers art
Triumph of sanitation
Long live the loos of England

The French who have no shame at all
Have built them on the street
And though they may be picturesque
Its hard to be discreet
You stand right in the boulevard
A chill wind round your feet
Long live the loos of England

The US put them up in space
Before the other nations
They even paint them black & white
To help their race relations
But its taboo to call them loos
They call them comfort stations
Long live the loos of England

In Greece its rare to find 'em there
Even in thetwentieth century
And if you do youll finally see
A little elementary
And in the blazing mid-day heat
Theyre not exactly sanitary
Long live the loos of England

In Russia theyve been nationalized
And if you pay your rouble
Therell be a guard and watch-dog too
To keep you out of trouble
And make quite sure you dont inscribe
Some capitalist doodle
Long live the loos of England

Australias big and in the bush
Youve loads of space to choose
If you avoid the prickly pear
Youve little else to lose
But mind you keep one jump ahead
Of those damned kangaroos
Long live the loos of England

So in this world there is one jam
That we must hold most dear
And though they ring the changes
One thing must not disappear
And if they ask who sang this song
Tell them Kilroy was here, mate
Long live the loos of England

Long live the loos of England.

